This will sound totally dumb, but sometimes I don’t know what my passions are.
I get asked this all the time, as I know every person in their early twenties is being asked these days.
“What do you want to do with your life?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, what are your passions?”
“Um, I mean, I really like Facebook.”
And then I sit and think about the fact that I don’t know what my passions are.
And you may be wondering, HOW DOES SHE NOT KNOW. And I’m like, I DON’T KNOW HOW I DON’T KNOW.
Here’s the thing: I’ve never been in love with something enough to throw my full being and efforts into it.
Maybe this is some personal issue rooted in that dreaded thing called a Fear of Commitment, but I’m not really opposed to committing to things.
I committed to four years of college.
I’m committed to sticking with Jesus.
I’m committed to checking Instagram every 40 minutes.
I mean, I have things that I really like. I really like to write, I enjoy taking and editing pictures, I love studying how movies are made, I love acting onstage. But I have never looked at any of these interests and said to myself, “THIS one. THIS is what I want to commit myself to doing.”
It’s really difficult to be motivated to do anything when you aren’t really sure what you even want to do. I look at people and friends who are highly successful and I think it’s because they have this very clear vision of what is important to them. They know the kind of job they want. They know the change they want to see in the world. And they go for it because they have a relatively clear path in front of them. They know what they want to go after.
I don’t. And maybe that’s weird.
However, even though sometimes in the middle of watching Gossip Girl I find myself panicking that I am wasting a very precious 50 minutes of my life, I am in fact actively trying to figure out what I actually am passionate about.
I enjoy doing social media, so I got myself an internship where I get to do just that.
I have always been interested in animal rescue programs, so I’m spending a week in Thailand working at an elephant preserve.
I want to explore other countries, so I’m traveling around Europe with three of my best friends.
I want to grow stronger in my relationship with Christ, so I started taking a class at a local church.
I love to write, so I started this blog.
So it would seem there is hope for me after all. I just hope that in this time of “dabbling” I will find something I can throw myself into. Something I will love committing to. That’s what being 22 is all about anyway, right? Dabbling.
Check back with me in a year and see where my dabbling brought me. Hopefully not still sitting on my couch watching True Blood.
Please, Jesus, let this class pay off.
In what ways are you figuring out what your passions are?