Here’s The Only Type of Person You Need to Date


I most definitely have a type.

Growing up, I always thought girls who had a “type” were foolish, because how could you possibly justify ruling out all the fabulous men who happened to not be six foot jocks or angst-ridden skater boys? Why limit what I perceived as the already shallow dating pool?

However, as I grew older and my tastes in both men and in overly-sugared coffee beverages developed, I discovered I was in fact attracted to a certain type of man: a jolly, snuggly, Jesus-loving college graduate with maybe just a hint of hipster in him.

Ladies, I know I’m preaching to the choir when I say we all have a dream person in mind, whether we think about it on an every ten minutes basis or not. It’s that person we imagine ourselves with as we do all those romantic things that truly in love couples do, like go for long drives or binge watch Hoarders. That’s our type.

But I’m here to tell you that there is actually only one type of person you should be dating, and he could end up looking nothing like your imaginary Hoarders-watching future hubby.

The only person you need to date is someone who brings out the beauty that already exists within you.

What do I mean by beauty? Well, I mean the value God has already placed on you, alone, unaffected by what anyone else has placed on you. It is the value that exists not because of your own doing or anybody else’s doing but because of God’s doing when he chose you as precious, holy, set apart.

What I am not saying is to date someone so you feel better about yourself or have someone around to rub your feet and be the source of your confidence. You should know you are beautiful before you start dating someone (because that’s a healthy thing to do and also because every single women’s magazine on the planet will tell you that confidence is key to attracting a mate).

No, I mean date people who are going to see that beauty and call it forth. People who are for your soul, your being, the divine spark that exists solely because God does. These are the people you should date.

Calling forth the beauty in someone else does not always equal a pretty picture though. Calling forth someone’s beauty means seeing their potential and who God has called them to be and reminding them, lovingly challenging them to live into that when you see they are not. The only person you need to date is someone who is drawn to your beauty and value and wants to work to bring it out of you and foster its potential, not for their sake but for yours.

Someone who calls out your beauty is a person who sees holiness more than they see sin.

Someone who calls out your beauty is strong enough to not make your relationship about them but about giving you and creating for you a space to be safe, to be yourself and the person God has called you to be.

Someone who calls out your beauty is a person who operates from a place of grace, understanding, and hope, while still maintaining the wisdom to not squander your beauty.

Someone who calls out your beauty will be crazy about the unique quirks and desires of your heart and want to see those flourish.

This is who you should date. Find them. Lock that thing down and brag about it on Facebook, because the world deserves to know there is another, better type than the brooding indie musician or elusive blonde jock who (rightly) got away.

4 replies »

  1. “The only person you need to date is someone who brings out the beauty that already exists within you.” This literally gave me chills, because its so true. A very important truth. I’ve been with my boyfriend 4 1/2 years, and sometimes get the “what if he was a cool hipster instead?” thoughts, but immediately shake my head, laugh and remember the most important thing: he does bring out that beauty, even when I don’t see it. So much more fulfilling than anything else.

    • Thank you for reading, Stacy! And love what you’re doing with Boulevard House. And thanks for sharing your thoughts with me! It’s pretty incredible to be able to find that person, and I’m glad that you are able to appreciate the discoveries within it.

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