Let’s face it: the Internet is chock-full of mostly unhelpful and polarizing listicles meant to give you a new perspective or piece of advice on how to experience your twenties.
I rarely take comfort in these articles, because while I would definitely love to travel more or go completely green or only put coconut oil on my face while tweeting about it from an Airbnb, what I’m really looking for are some tips that meet me where I’m at.
So I came up with my own list of articles you actually need in your twenties:
The Definitive Ranking of Your Friends’ New Babies
How to Accomplish Your Life Goals and But Still Mostly Watch TV
Going to Work: A List of Things You’d Rather Be Doing
The Top 50 Most God-Awful Annoying Hipster Couples on Instagram
End of an Era: How Meeting People Organically and Not on a Dating App Became Mostly Impossible and Then Literally Wasn’t a Thing Sort Of
Am I Boring, or Does Everyone Watch This Much Netflix?
I’m Dressing Like a Teenager and Only Kind of Caring
Why Can’t I Keep My Succulents Alive? And Other Questions About Failure
The Five Stages of Realizing You’re Kind of Like Your Mother Now
Contouring: How to Not Feel Guilty About Spending Three Hours in Front of the Mirror
You Can’t Travel: Thoughts on How to Actually Stick to the Work Schedule You Committed to as an Employee at a Company That Provides You With Health Insurance
It Happened to Me: I Couldn’t Stop Buying $4 Bottles of Rosé
Six Steps to Regain Your Dignity After You Went Too Hard at Karaoke
The Instagram Diet: How to Look Like a Model But Still Eat Mostly Donuts and Ice Cream and Creamy Coffee
Your Friends Somehow Have Money to Travel And Other Things That Make No Damn Sense
26 is the new 35: How to Live With Yourself After Realizing You Have Not Started a Nonprofit or Serious Relationship or Photography Business
They Lied to Us: The Cruel Joke That is Adult Acne
What is MySpace? Teens Weigh in On How Obsolete You Are
How Instagram Single-Handedly Made Living Out of a Van Enviable and Not a Sign of Financial Ruin
So You Want to Go to Grad School: 10 Steps to Identifying Even More Ways to Never Have Money Ever
Good luck out there, all of us.