Me, Myself, and IUD: A Response (And Invitation!)

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Holy moly, you guys.

I write one post about birth control and YA’LL LOSE YOUR EVER-LOVING MINDS.

Here’s what happened if you missed it:

A few days ago, I published this post about my experience trying to get an IUD, in which I had a terrible time for numerous reasons and ended up not going through with it.

Now, I don’t have that large of a readership on my blog. When I post something, I usually average about 40-50 views within the first hour. But after publishing this post, I came back to check on it 30 minutes later and had 106 views (bloggers with huge readerships are now taking pity on me and feeling great about themselves, but I’m feeling like a teeny tiny celebrity).

Then the messages started coming in. Texts, Facebook messages, emails, comments; you guys went nuts and I was jazzed.

 You all wanted to offer me such encouragement and advice, and you shared your own struggles with birth control (and there are many). I got to talk with so many of you about what methods of birth control you’re using and why. And if you are familiar with what I used to do for work, you know this was my ultimate happy place.

And here was the resounding message of all the messages I received: this isn’t really a normal thing we talk about, and um, why the hell is that?

Why don’t we talk about stuff like this? We are ALL thinking about it, whether we’re having sex at the moment or not. Why aren’t we comfortable talking about the literal, actual methods we’re taking when it comes to sex? Why do some of us choose this over that? Are we all on birth control, or are some of us using a different method? What scares us? What has worked for us? Where are we getting our information?

People say that we don’t talk about sex enough in church. I would sort of agree with that, but I think we also don’t talk about a lot of things in church. I actually think we’re talking about sex all the time, just not outside of private conversations. Have you ever been hanging out late at night with some friends, and eventually there comes a time in the evening when it feels late/safe enough to start talking about non-surface-level things? What is the first thing that is brought up? Sex. 

 Most of us are just waiting to talk about sex, or dating, or relationships, or anything surrounding all of this.

Maybe it’s just me, but I’m actually positive it’s not. I think it’s most people.

 And this is because sex, dating, and relationships are the things that touch us in the most poignant way. These are the things that have the power to bring up the most shame, the most questions, the most anger, the most joy, the most curiosity, the most learning and vulnerability and gut-wrenching wonder or sadness.

There are a handful of big moments in the timeline of my life that I can point to and say, “This is where I met God.” And they all have to do with sexuality or romantic relationships.

Sometimes I’ve wished this wasn’t the case, that I actually met God when I was in Cuba on some sort of drug-binge and met God and turned my life around and became a pastor with a lot of tattoos and even more dramatic stories.

But, no. I met God when my relationship ended.

And that’s how I know we are all craving these kinds of conversations. Because they matter. At a visceral level they matter, because they have the power to influence our lives, possibly forever.

So I want to hear from you.

I want you to open your email, hit “Compose” and send me a note. I want you to tell me what you wish what you wish was talked about more when it comes to sex, dating, and relationships. Is there anything you wish was talked about less? What questions do you find yourself asking most frequently about all this? Where do you struggle? Where do you find hope? And let’s not limit it to only sex – I want to hear your story when it comes to dating, relationships, or marriage.

I want you to tell me, because LORD KNOWS I have my own questions and struggles and hopes (which, by the way, have not gone away just because I’m getting married – now it’s just a different set of questions and struggles and hopes).

I want you to email me here:

No one will know you emailed me, and your name will not appear on my blog (and this is not a ploy to get your email and send you a bunch of emails). This is a conversation between YOU and ME. I know there are so many things we want to talk about. I certainly want/need to.

I am in love with the conversations that happened the last few days on here. I want to keep getting to know ALL of you better so I can know what NEEDS to be talked about. If you’re new here, I would love for you to like my Facebook page or follow me on Instagram and send me a message to introduce yourself! I want to meet you!

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