Here’s What Happened When I Left You All for Two Months

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At my bachelorette party, which also happened while I was away. Good news, only threw up once. 

Hello, everyone! I’m back, in semi-full force, and happy to be a part of your lives once again.

As some of you know, I took a little over a month off from writing and any sort of social media presence, which you can read about here.

The plan was to end this “fast” on March 5th, but I loved being offline so much that I kept it up. Until now, because I missed you, and also because I needed to feel like a professional again and not just a receptionist who also gets coffee for people and occasionally is made to feel like less than a receptionist, in fact.

Here’s what happened when I left you all for two months:

I got my mother-flipping IUD.

Remember that one time I tried to get an IUD, wrote about it, and then heard from almost every single one of you that same day as you gave me advice?

 Well, I did it. I effing DID IT and I was champion. Here’s some helpful tips for anyone considering getting an IUD:

  1. Drink two glasses of wine beforehand. This will loosen you up and give you instant liquid courage.
  2. Do breathing exercises like you are a horse in labor.
  3. If you grab the nice nurse’s boob instead of her hand, apologize later. You will bond over it and she will call you a badass.
  4. Justify the scary, painful process to yourself by reminding yourself that three minutes of mild, searing pain is easier than 36 hours of pushing a watermelon through your vagina and then paying for said watermelon’s college education. Also free time.

I left my church and joined a new one.

Leaving a church can be a painful topic for people. It’s deeply personal, confusing, and may leave you questioning your faith, mostly like any normal break up.

I didn’t feel much angst, to be honest. I knew it was right. It wasn’t personal – everyone at my former church is a fantastic human being. No one personally wronged me, no one tried to put their hand on my head and banish the devil from my insides. We’re cool.

If you have questions about this, or are going through a similar process, please email me. I might write about it later, but I also would love to answer any questions about why I am a heathen human being.

I started a podcast!

Along with my friend, Hannah! And boy, is it close to a train wreck. But it is a happy train wreck, and I swear we’re getting better. This podcast is not well-researched nor professional, and you will probably not enjoy it unless you too are obsessed with movies, actors and actresses, and endless trivia on the Internet Movie Database. If these things aren’t your jam, neither will be listening to Hannah and me try to figure out if Ariel from The Little Mermaid has fish parts or lady parts.

To listen, click here.

I pretty much missed everything in the news.

I became extremely uninformed, and then realized I get most of my news from Twitter, so I don’t know which is worse.

I finally had the mental, emotional, and spiritual space to start something really big.

I can’t tell you what it is yet, so QUIT ASKING. But I will tell you this: it has, unfortunately, become a lifestyle for me to equate doing with growing.

As in, the more I do, however chaotically and frantically and without much of a plan, I will eventually grow towards my dreams and goals, right? Right? Maybe, but the process will be a lot more confusing and painful than it necessarily needs to be.

Not doing things scares me, whether it’s not writing or being creative or even cleaning (yes, Mom, I do actually clean things). To not do anything would be to fall behind, become stuck, become boring. It would halt “the process.”

I had not considered that halting might be part of the process.

If we find ourselves lost in the woods, and we barrel through simply for the sake of getting somewhere, we won’t really get where we’re trying to go. We’ll be active, we’ll be moving, but are we really getting anywhere? It’s only when we stop, catch our breath, and assess our surroundings that we find at least one direction to go. It might not be the direction, but at least we have our wits about us again.

That’s how I felt. The noise stopped, the pressure to write for anyone but myself stopped, the comparisons stopped. I felt safe again. I don’t mean I still didn’t feel lost, even angst-ridden at times, but I sat down and became still. And it worked.

That’s all my updates for now, and I’m so glad to be back! I’ll be revamping my newsletter format within the next couple weeks, along with (hopefully) upping my communication with you all through that, so if you would like to be part of that lil’ group please click here!

I missed you all and I’m glad to be writing again! – xoxo, Gossip Girl Julia

Categories: Uncategorized, Writing

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